This Side of Eternity
by Mlle Lambert
Summary: It’s been a year since the end of "Sonata," and Mick must make a difficult decision.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** This Side of Eternity  
**Author:** Mlle Lambert/Night Owl  
**Rating:** K/PG  
**Genre:** Angst/Romance  
**Pairing:** MickBeth  
**Season/Sequel:** Sequel to _This Side of Love_, but it can be a standalone, also.  
**Spoilers:** "Fated to Pretend" and "Sonata"  
**Summary:** It's been a year, and Mick must make a difficult decision.

**Disclaimer:** Whoever owns them owns them! If I did, I'd be writing the scripts, not the fanfic!  
**Author's Note:** Yeah, so the last one didn't go over so well, it seems, but after reading all these sad versions of our lovers, inspiration has struck again. Let me warn you, though. I'm back to my old ways—this isn't what I would consider fluffy! As always, feedback is love!

**Written:** June 4, 2008

She's asleep now—her breathing and heartbeat slow and peaceful. I watch quietly from the doorway, not wanting to disturb her. Her features are so serene and the small smile on her face makes me fall in love with her all over again.

It has been almost a year since we began dating—since that night on the rooftop after my returning. If anything, my love for her has only deepened in the time we've been together. There isn't a thing about her I dislike. I adore everything about her from her beauty, curiosity, and determination to—God help me—her stubbornness and even her aggression. It makes me really understand what Josef meant when he talked about living long enough to meet Sarah. It's the same with Beth. Maybe I was meant to live long enough to love her.

But as much as I'd like to, I can't stay. No matter what, we always circle back to the same subject as before: relationships between humans and vampires are difficult. Tonight, it was focused more on the fact that she nearly got herself killed on a case, but it eventually came back to that.

"_So just because you're a vampire means that I shouldn't have to worry about you getting killed?" she asked, her voice shaking with anger._

"_No, Beth, that's—"_

"_No, Mick, I want to make sure I have this straight. You have every right to worry about me, but I can't worry about you? What if you're in a building and it blows up or you're in a car accident and your head gets sliced off? Or what if some vampire hunter decides that he wants to come after you?"_

"_Those are long odds, and you know it, Beth. I can take care of myself."_

"_Then why don't you just go take care of yourself somewhere else? I'm pretty sure Josef has a spare freezer you can borrow." Beth turned and headed for the stairs._

"_Beth, I…"_

_She stopped at the foot of the stairs for only a moment. "Don't. Just don't." She stopped again half way up and looked back, sadness mixing with anger. "For that matter, don't even bother coming back." She disappeared up the staircase and a few moments later, the bedroom door slammed, reverberating throughout the now silent apartment._

_Don't even bother coming back._ The words echo through my mind even now. She's said a lot when she's been angry, but never that. Not like this. Not since that night last May when I almost lost her for good—and would have if I hadn't come back to tell her I loved her. I would say she was only emotional and she didn't mean it, but I think she did. The look I saw in her eyes was the same one she had that night. Only this time, she was the one to run away.

I didn't come upstairs until I knew she was asleep, not wanting another confrontation. Now, here I stand gazing at her beautiful body one last time. It breaks my undead heart to know it has to end like this, but I guess it is true that all good things must come to an end. I knew it couldn't last forever—I could never turn her even if she wanted it. I silently make my way over and sit down beside her. Caressing her cheek, I realize that I would have stayed with her until the end, and probably would have chosen to follow her. I guess it doesn't matter now, though.

I rise and head out of the room. Before closing the door, I look back; almost wanting to tell her I love her one more time, but now isn't the time for that. I grab the bag I've packed which contains my blood supply and several other necessities and look around. This had been my apartment for years, then it was ours, and now, I guess it's hers. At least, it will be soon.

I've already called Josef. He's expecting me at any time, and by now, he's let his contacts know that I want to move on. They'll be the ones to take care of moving my freezer and other belongings wherever I go. I feel moisture gathering in my eyes and I laugh through my tears, but there's nothing funny about it. This really is the end. I can't even wrap my mind around it.

"_So, do you... bite people's necks and... suck the blood out?"_

It seems like only yesterday she was right here asking so curiously about what I was. It's been over a year since she found out about me.

"_What are you?"_

"_I'm a vampire!"_

And she was so accepting from the very beginning—and then always without fail. I think that's what made me love her in the first place.

I shake my head, knowing it's time to leave this—all of it—behind. I turn back to the entry and walk into the hall and toward the elevator. The door latches just before the elevator opens. With one final look back, I step into it, wondering if Beth really is the one who is running away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** _Since the last one went over pretty well, I'll go with this...don't worry, there will be more. I'm not leaving things like THIS! Please R&R and I will love you forever. :-D  
_

**Updated:** June 10, 2008

It has been four days since I left Beth. Every time I think about it, I feel this lump in my throat that just won't go away. Part of me wants to call her. In fact, I've nearly done so several times, but I always stop myself right before hitting the call button. I have to remind myself that if she wanted to talk, she'd call me, and she hasn't.

Each day is becoming harder to face. Every waking moment is full of thoughts of how much I love her. I want to hear her voice again, see her smile—hell, I just want to be with her. I want to wake up at twilight and find that all of this has been a dream and that she's just in the next room. I would do anything to have her again.

But it has been four days and I haven't heard anything.

"You know, you should really stop moping around and at least call her," Josef's voice breaks through my thoughts.

I look up at him and take the glass of blood he offers, but don't drink from it. "If she wanted to talk, she'd call me," I tell him as I have every other time he's made the comment.

"That's bullshit and you know it," he replies for the first time since I've taken this stance. "Jeez, this is why I didn't make that call to let you move on. You make too many rash decisions, you know that?"

"Shut up, Josef," I grumble, swirling the contents of my glass.

Josef shakes his head. "No, really, Mick. We both know Beth. She's a strong woman—stubborn, but strong—but that doesn't mean that she's not been affected by this." He pauses and takes a long look at me. "And you can't tell me you haven't been affected by it. I don't think I've seen you this depressed since Elvis died."

I give him a long hard glare.

"Sorry, sorry," he says defensively. "Can't blame a guy for trying. Really, Mick, you've got to snap out of this. For all you know, she's not calling you because she's afraid she'll start crying."

"Beth's cried in front of me before."

Josef makes a sound somewhere between a scoff and a derisive snort. "You know, you'd think after a year of dating the woman, you'd understand a little bit more about how the female mind works." He picks up my phone from where I threw it on the table and tosses it to me. "Call her."

For a long moment, I do nothing but stare at Josef. Then something in me screams to take his advice. After setting the glass down, I find her name, press the call button, and put the phone up to my ear. After four rings, it goes to voice mail.

_"Hi, you've reached Beth Turner. I'm not available right now, but if you'll leave your name and number I'll call you back as soon as possible."_

She sounds so cheerful. I close my eyes and smile as I feel my heart being wrenched from my chest. God, I miss her so much. I gather my confidence as I wait for the beep. "Hey, Beth, it's Mick. Listen, I'm… I'm sorry about the other night." I stop, suddenly at a loss for words, and then continue, "I shouldn't have picked a fight with you. I just… I'm sorry. Will you… call me when you get this, please?" I'm afraid to tell her I love her, so I just tell her goodbye and end the call before putting the phone back on the coffee table.

"Now, that wasn't so bad, was it?" It's a rhetorical question, but that's just Josef.

I lean back on Josef's couch and sigh. Picking up my glass, I finish off my drink. Now all that is left is to wait.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** You know, this has been sitting on my computer for months now and I didn't even realize I hadn't posted it here! Guess that goes to show you that I need to actually check things like this every now and again. I hope you like!

* * *

"_I don't…think I can do this anymore."_

The look on Beth's face as she opens the door reminds me a lot of that night almost a year ago when she almost ended our relationship before it had even really begun. Without a word, she gestures for me to enter our apartment. I step inside, taking a quick survey of the area. Nothing is broken, though it is a bit more messy than usual.

I take a seat in my chair. She goes to the kitchen and pours us both drinks, still saying nothing. When she sets mine in front of me, I'm surprised it doesn't crack from the force of the glass hitting the surface. Okay, so maybe she's a little bit more upset than she was then. I don't touch the blood she so silently offered. I can't even look at her. Instead, my eyes focus on a random spot on the floor.

"I didn't call you back so we could quietly have a drink together, Mick," Beth finally says.

Why is it that you can always think of the right things to say before facing a person, but when she's right in front of you, you can't seem to form the words? I know I should say something, but words fail me.

She makes a sound of exasperation. "You always do this, you know. You say you want to talk, and then, y-you just _sit_ there." The irritation comes through and I finally look at her. I see the face of a desperate woman at wits end. "What do you want me to do? There's no denying it. We've been having problems for a while now, and no matter what I do, I can't make it all go away without at least _some_ help from you."

I reach for the glass of A positive and take a drink, once again looking away from her. "I said I was sorry, and I still am." Taking a deep breath, I continue, "I understand relationships are hard, in general, and that means that relationships between vampires and humans are even harder. It doesn't matter how I feel about you, we both have a pretty good idea of the few ways this is going to eventually end. You deserve much better than me, Beth."

"What are you saying?" Her words are clipped and devoid of emotion.

I set my glass down and meet her gaze, holding it. "There are so many things that I can't give you…and others that I don't think I'm willing to give you," I tell her, pausing a moment before adding, "because it would take something I see as far more precious away from you. But you constantly put yourself in danger, and I don't want to see what little time we have together cut short. There are moments I think I can do this, but then there are others—like right now—that I wonder if I really can."

A tear rolls down Beth's cheek and she breaks eye contact. Now it's her turn to say nothing. We sit there for a long time before her voice comes barely above a whisper, "Me, too."

Now that I've started, I can't stop watching her. "Did you mean it? When you told me never to come back?"

Slowly, she nods. "Yes, I did. It just seems like every little thing that just barely puts me in harm's way starts a fight with you."

"_Barely_ in harm's way? You were—" I stop myself short. This is how things ended _last_ time. "Sometimes, I wonder if you do it intentionally."

A teasing smile spreads across her face. "What can I say? You look so sexy when you're annoyed."

I can't help it. A laugh bubbles to the surface. Then the tears come. It wasn't until this moment that I realized how much I don't want to lose her. Without hesitating, she comes over, taking my hands in hers and looking into my eyes—into my soul. I move my right hand up to her cheek and wipe away the moisture that has gathered there. "It's just so hard sometimes. I love you, but what if this just keeps getting worse? What if we can't—?"

Her finger over my mouth effectively stops me. She shifts forward, taking my face in her hands and pressing her lips to mine. Electricity sparks through my body just as it did the first time we kissed. I moan into her lips, pulling her closer. Before long she's sitting in my lap with her forehead against mine. "Mick St. John, you are the most _impossible_ man—human or vampire—that I have ever met."

"And look who's talking," I reply with a soft chuckle.

She smiles, an expression that lights up her entire face. "Remember what you said that night? 'This is about how we feel about each other, right here, right now.'" She pauses, pulling back a bit to look at me. "You're still right." She pushes at my hair with a tender look in her eyes. "I love you. You love me. That is all that _really_ matters. It's hard sometimes, I know, but I know we can work together to make this happen."

I can only stare, lost in those beautiful blue eyes. She's silent for a moment, but soon continues, "I know, sometimes I feel like I'm on one side of eternity staring at you on the other across this wide canyon that I know neither one of us can cross safely. But the more time we have together, the more I feel like that canyon is becoming more of a crack… The more I think that maybe there isn't such a large gap between life and forever, and even if there is, we've somehow managed to bridge it in order to be together."

Her words warm my heart and I hold her close. She is more right than she knows. For months before our relationship even began, I felt exactly like that. It was the constant reminder. She was human, I was a vampire, and it could never work between us because of that. But as time passed, I realized that that hazy line between us wasn't as big as I'd once thought. I am thankful for that, and I am happy that she helped me to finally realize it. Yes, we have our problems, but we can make things work out between us simply because of how we feel about one another. Holding her in my arms again, I am grateful that Josef made me call her. Yes, I think as she stands and takes my hand to lead me up to the bedroom, I am _very_ grateful.

* * *

**Okay, so I know I sort of left it hanging, but it's really quite difficult to see how this would go since the series ended so early. The whole point of this is that for the time being, they're willing to deal with the fact that they love each other now. It just seemed like how they were on the end of the show. I hope that made sense, and I hope I stayed in character with these two.** **Please review! It makes me feel good about my writing.**


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